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Qualia Problems

by Melancolony

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1.
Maysong 04:12
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Wander for forgotten shores A hazy hint of more A mourning mist A tide that shifts A meaning, maybe We ignore Drift along A daydreaming song A mundane day of May gloomy gray Float along A daydreaming song A mundane day of May gloomy gray
2.
Misophonia 02:43
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Headache A misophonic pound Lonely engine break down, down, down A liquid-line roulette Now caught in the driftnet Again Can I get myself out of bed? Again Can I get your voice out of my head? Sunbreak Or so they say I hide out to keep them away Again Lower the shades! Again Can I get your voice out of my head?
3.
What You Want to Hear 04:09
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Summer, almost over Where’d you run off to? Frightened, undercover Hidden from our view Do they say what you want to hear? Running, ‘till you’re near collapse Make your body subdue Cling to what you know are facts Forget who you once knew Do they say what you want to hear? Where were you yesterday? Did your problems melt away? Those who once bowed as you walked Now avoid your eyes They were once the ones you mocked Advances you denied Did they say what you want to hear? Where were you yesterday? Did your problems melt away?
4.
Pebbles to Throw 03:10
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Hello, can you hear me? Maybe I’m talking too low With your face looking through me I can’t comprehend what you know Oh, what can I say? Can I wait for another day? Pebbles to throw One day I’ll show At your window When our eyes meet A hint of defeat on on your face That the world is cruel and The rules are all out of place But oh, what can I say? Will I wait on another day? Pebbles to throw One day you’ll show At your window
5.
Disconnection 04:25
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I couldn’t say What I became These words are mine Attached to my name You won’t understand You can’t understand Your thumb on my identity Can’t handle ambiguity You won’t understand You can’t understand
6.
Colorless 02:34
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Colorless, no name Ah, the feeling . . . Welcome to the game Of concealing Shove it in the drawer Ah, and it’s spilling On the dirty floor I’m not willing To take it in the sun that Everybody sees To hear from everyone Then what’s left of me? Colorless, no name I’m not feeling Much of anything Worth revealing Just drag it in the sunlight Everybody sees Exposed for everyone What’s left of me?
7.
Recurring 06:29
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I woke up relieved It’s just a dream This happens more and more I’ve been deceived Packing to leave But I can’t find door Movie in my mind Running, left behind Pages undefined Missed deadlines Gave up the lead And you concede But I can’t read the score Message received? How can I leave When you have locked the door? Movie in my mind Running, left behind Pages undefined Missed deadlines
8.
Redefinition 04:43
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Taking the long view Sometimes I don’t do What I’d like What you’d like If I could redo . . . Once I have thought through . . . Read my lines Heed the signs Redefine Redefine Recognize The irony of our lives Heat-lightning skies We’re cold otherwise Myopic malaise Movement that betrays Who I am What I am If I could rephrase Words that I did say I’d confide Redefine
9.
Watch Out for the Quiet Ones 04:17
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I said too much Too much, but you don’t Don’t listen much Some names I should not mention You get the worst of me A vague disharmony Bleeding out Quiet part loud Louder than my intention Ill-at ease-doubt You didn’t pay attention You get the worst of me A vague disharmony Bleeding out Holes in my head Hot air escapes me sometimes Best left unsaid Margins between the lines Quiet part loud Bad time for these abstractions You’ll screen it out No need for interaction Holes in my head Hot air escapes me sometimes Best left unsaid Margins between the lines I said too much Too much, but you don’t Don’t listen much Some names I should not mention You get the worst of me A vague disharmony Bleeding out Holes in my head Hot air escapes me sometimes Best left unsaid Margins between the lines
10.
Dayflower 03:53
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The life of a memory Time’s an accessory Just a way to pass the odd hour Blooming like a sad dayflower When you were next to me . . . Hey what’s that song? I’ll play along Only eternity Do you still think of me? Time can make the sweet turn sour Blooming like a sad dayflower When you were next to me . . . Hey what’s that song? I’ll play along What are you doing? Where have you gone? Are you confusing The words of our song? What are you doing? Where have you gone? Are you confusing The words of our song?
11.
First Song of Summer 04:56
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Got your postcard Read the postmark Just a few days Nothing new here Alone and unclear A sad cliche Is it my fate to escape my home town? Can I get to there from here? Do I smell of boredom or fear? Hope and despair In the summer-sweet air Can I go anywhere? Hey, elsewhere Life elsewhere That distant laugh Where’s the time go? Nothing to show Still unattached Is it my fate to escape my home town? Can I get to there from here? Do I smell of boredom or fear? Hope and despair In the summer-sweet air Can I go anywhere? Do you feel the need to see through The adult lens of “always-meant-to”? What’s the rub of your displeasure? We all dreamt of something better Can I get to there from here? Do I smell of boredom or fear? Hope and despair In the summer-sweet air Can’t I go anywhere? Can you feel the summer-sweet air? Don’t you want to go anywhere?
12.
Fight or Flight (It's Over) 03:22
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Why do you say Words that you say that? Time won’t erase Razor-blade thoughts Forget-me-nots That bitter taste Cornered, I fight Then I’m contrite But it’s too late Just walk away Just walk away It’s over It’s over Words that I say Stand in our way It’s over It’s over Short memory Wasted energy Are we okay? Razor-blade thoughts Forget me nots That bitter taste When It’s fight or flight I choose to fight It escalates Just walk away Just walk away It’s over It’s over Words that I say Stand in our way It’s over It’s over

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released September 1, 2023

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Melancolony Santa Cruz, California

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